In just a few short weeks, I’ll launch my youngest child off to college. My husband and I will officially be empty nesters, and I find myself seeing this transition not through the lens of a higher education administrator — but as a parent.
I wonder if I’ve taught her everything she needs to know to thrive on her own. The things that race through my mind run the gamut of thoughts and feelings:
Did I balance letting go with providing structure? (Still up for debate.)
Did I teach her proper table manners? (Not very well.)
Does she know how to do laundry? (Yes, but she won’t separate colors from whites.)
Will she remember to sleep? (Eventually, I hope.)
Will she exercise? (Marathon games of Among Us don’t count.)
Will she eat vegetables? (Not broccoli.)
Will she be able to fail — and rise again? (Fingers crossed.)
Will she still come home to visit? (I think so, but TBD.)
Will she always know how deeply I love her? (I sure hope so.)
These are just a few of the things I worry about and there are so many more. Being a parent, guardian, mentor or caregiver presents a unique set of well-being challenges. You’re not only responsible for your own well-being habits — you also worry about someone else’s. And as your child grows, you start to see which habits you modeled well … and which ones you didn’t.
I remember a conversation with my brother, Sim, where he was lamenting some parenting frustration. I told him, “No matter how perfect a parent you are, your child will still figure out something you didn’t do right.”
Because parenting and caregiving are never about perfection. It’s about presence.
It’s about showing up, having the conversations, navigating structure and freedom, control and release. Whether you’re a parent, mentor, caregiver or beloved aunt or uncle — you’re walking beside a young person as they become who they’re meant to be.
I like to encourage people that parenting doesn’t have to be a solo sport — even if you’re parenting alone. And although I have a spouse, I spent almost a year of my life solo parenting while my husband deployed to Afghanistan. No, it’s not the same as those who navigate it on a day-by-day basis, but I got a taste of what it’s like, and I realized I felt a lot less alone as a parent, when I connected regularly with my people — a tribe of friends that had my back during the seasons of parenting.
Research shows that having 3–5 close relationships support individual mental health and well-being. Those same relationships are just as important as we navigate the parenting and caregiving journey. From the time I called a friend sobbing because I couldn’t get breastfeeding right, to the people I lean on now to help me parent young adults who still feel like 12-year-olds in my mind — my circle has made all the difference.
With a strong circle, parenting feels less like free soloing and more like hiking the Foothills Trail together.
I firmly believe life was never meant to be navigated alone. Neither is parenting.
That’s why Clemson University created the Parenthood that Works Resource and Support Center, led by Mallory Mitcham. It’s a space where we can connect as parents — across all stages of life — and support one another as we grow alongside our children.
So, I encourage you: Build your 3–5. Prioritize your time with them so you can invest in your circle. Nurture those relationships because at every stage of life, they’ll be there for you — just as mine are for me.
As for me? I’m about to call my people. Because in a few weeks, my girl takes flight. And where there is great love … there are also great feels.
