The monthly “Elevate Well-Being” blog series shares thoughts and reflections of Clemson Well-Being Council members and University faculty, staff and students. Our February 2026 blog is courtesy Chris Cox, dean of Clemson Libraries.
As we begin thinking about what we can give to those we love on Valentine’s Day, I want to emphasize the importance of taking time to love yourself as well. As dean of Clemson Libraries, I am responsible for the success of 125 individuals. As a compassionate leader, I seek to know every one of them individually and give them what they need — praise, training, financial resources — so they can support all of you in the Clemson community. I make sure I communicate with them regularly so they know what is happening within the Libraries and across the campus so they can do their jobs effectively. I actively listen to them, to better understand who they are, their interests and what they might be dealing with at work or outside of it. I’m a people person and want to help.
The downside of this is that I often put others or the organization ahead of myself. While that is admirable, if I don’t practice self-care, I can’t be present for them or make good decisions. A few years ago, I wrote a column on compassionate leadership for the Journal of Library Administration. In the article, I reviewed the literature on compassionate leadership and outlined the traits consistently referenced in various studies. Practicing self-care was a common refrain. To be a professional, sustainable leader, you need to prioritize taking care of yourself, putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others. One study shared, “Burnt out, stressed leaders will inevitably produce burnt out, stressed organizations.”
Self-care takes many forms. It can mean finding time to be by yourself and setting technology aside. I like to take walks around campus once or twice a day. It helps me clear my head, and I return to the office renewed and refreshed. I’ve also turned off all social media, preferring to focus on my hobbies (gardening, reading, Star Trek). While difficult for me, I have been setting boundaries and prioritizing my work-life balance. That means no email after work (though I’m always available if the provost calls ) and no talk about work at home. Because I have a short commute, I’ve found I need to walk the dog or journal when I get home to close out the day and be fully present for my wife and family.
Thanks to the advice of my doctor and some of my dean friends, I engage in breathing exercises and practice mindfulness. I learned how to do it through a Healthy Campus course led by Jennifer Goree. I used to think this was silly and still think people must think I look strange when they find me sitting in my office with my eyes closed as I concentrate on my breathing. But practicing mindfulness to calm my thoughts and gain focus has been a game-changer. Too often, I receive an email or an exchange occurs with a colleague, and I want to react, but it’s important that I stay calm for the organization and not make rash decisions. Mindfulness helps me take a beat and engage the problem through a relaxed lens.
I also know that when I eat right, go to the gym regularly, and get good sleep, I have more energy, a more positive attitude, and feel more productive. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to do all these things, and thus far, I’m making little progress. But I know it’s important — not just for my own health, but for those I lead.
Lastly, being a leader can be a very lonely enterprise. You can’t have close friends within your team, and I’m unable to talk about certain things with others at Clemson or with my family. I have “found my tribe” among my fellow deans at Clemson. We call each other, text and email, and get together frequently outside of work to commiserate or brainstorm ideas. I also have good friends who are library deans at other institutions, with whom I can rely on to listen as I talk things out and who provide me with good advice.
There’s no secret formula for keeping your sanity as a leader. I’m trying to do a better job of taking care of myself. A true compassionate leader is not only compassionate about their team members or their institution (#ClemsonFamily), but also must be compassionate about making sure they love themselves as well, ensuring they bring their best self to the office each day.
So, this Valentine’s Day, think about giving love to yourself as well as to those close to you. They’ll thank you for it.
