Editor’s Note: The new “Elevate Well-Being” blog series shares timely thoughts and reflections of Clemson Well-Being Council members. Our first guest blog is courtesy Associate Vice President for Auxiliary Enterprises Kathy Hobgood, who balances life as a wife and mother with leadership responsibilities at both Clemson University and in her professional role as president of the Association of College and University Housing Officers – International (ACUHO-I).
What I know for sure is this –
- Time, energy and passion are limited quantities. We do our best when we can invest them in the things that bring us the most joy in life.
- The days are long, but wow – the years FLY by!
- I am harder on myself than anyone I know, and nothing makes me feel less apt at something as when I am asked to write about it with any level of expertise.
What does this have to do with balance and well-being? Let me elaborate!
It has taken me years to accept that the journey to attain a positive balance or synergy between work and life will not end. There will always be the innate pull and tug between what time of day you’re able to do which things. There is an endless amount of mental space our work-related feelings and thoughts take up, as well as how we react to, act on and deal with those when we are not “at work.”
The struggle is real, my friends, if for no other reason than balance and synergy are elusive concepts generally only recognized when absent. Being “in balance” can be imagined – but feeling stressed, pulled and generally over-taxed is real.
Be kind to yourself
For years, I had this running dialogue in my head that said, “Now come on, you really shouldn’t complain here. You have a great family, amazing girlfriends, a well-loved job with supportive teams and you get to take on amazing volunteer opportunities both in and outside work.” That inner perfectionist voice robbed me of the opportunity to be authentic with others when we could have been helping each other. It left me feeling both isolated and all the worse for wear – when my feelings were totally NORMAL. Two things can be true at the same time. We can be lucky, blessed AND still STRUGGLE to fit it all in the average day. We can give ourselves credit for the hard work and accomplishments of both our work-worlds and home lives – AND the logistics, necessary emotional investments and time on task in both places can feel impossible to attain.
See the big picture
There is comfort in knowing what the long-range goals are and investing your time, energy and passion accordingly. One of my favorite books has a character named Mother Hildegarde. She relays the goal of living an “eminently useful life”. A great question to ask ourselves amid the craziness – is what I’m doing useful here? A second question when I’m deciding what gets my next available time is “Will this matter in 5 years? in 10? Who will remember that I was or wasn’t present somewhere?”
Use your tools
I love a good useful analogy. Anyone else remember the old-school variety-show plate spinner? Having placed a plate on top of each of 5-10 thin poles and starting them to spin, success is garnered by ensuring that each has the perfect amount of attention, adjustment and assistance to maintain balance and movement without crashing to the ground. Some days feel like that, right? But dividing who needs what attention and where allows appropriate investment to maintain the whole.
Another useful analogy is that of a juggler – maybe we should all start a circus together with these skills =) We can keep the items flying through the air as long as we can – but some will eventually fall to the ground. Someone once told me to imagine some balls are made of glass, and some are made of rubber. How can you ensure the most fragile, important and elemental ones are protected so that, if something has to drop, it bounces a bit on its own before you, or maybe someone else, can pick it up?
Our common purpose
The gift we share as a campus is working in an environment focused on development and education. As diverse as our students are in background and motive, they share a goal of striving for a life enhanced by their time at Clemson. We, as faculty and staff, share their success as our elemental goal and in return receive the gift of that motivation to make sure campus is ready for them each day.